As a big birthday approaches, Kathy Donaghy looks back, and looks forward... For Sunday Miscellany on RTÉ Radio 1, listen to The Heart River by Kathy Donaghy above.

I'm standing with my feet in the river, toes digging into the soft sandy bed. I lean down and dip my hands in, cupping the gently flowing water, trying to hold on to some of it. But it ebbs away, longing to be on its inexorable journey to the sea. 

It’s the week of my birthday, and I’ve always loved my birthday. How my heart would soar when the calendar flipped the page from August to September. This year the heart is unsure and so I go and stand in the river to make sense of how I got here....

Listen to more from Sunday Miscellany here.