Sínann Fetherston speaks with Irish Paralympian Peter Ryan about an upcoming charity marathon that will see the 33-year-old run the length of the country in just five days.
When Peter Ryan was just 19 years old, he was diagnosed with a condition that led him to lose 90 per cent of his eyesight in just 10 months.
A Tipperary minor hurler at the time, he realised that something was wrong when he began making mistakes in training, but could never have imagined the reality of the situation.
"Denial is a big factor," he says, explaining that he would push away any "niggling thoughts" about his sight, until, one day, he made a mistake that bothered him to the point that he "couldn't ignore it".
Although he had hoped the issue would be resolved with a quick fix, the teenager was ultimately given the heartbreaking diagnosis of Leber's Hereditary Optic Neuropathy - an inherited disorder that would lead him to lose 90 per cent of his sight in less than a year.
Coming to terms with the shocking diagnosis was exceptionally difficult for Peter, who says his family threw themselves into researching every potential treatment option, from specialists in Miami to holy men across Ireland.
"You're 19 and you're being immersed in the medical system," the now 33-year-old says, reflecting on the experience. "And I felt healthy, do you know what I mean? In every other metric for how health is perceived."
Struggling to come to terms with his sudden blindness, and unable to cope on his own, he eventually checked into an alcohol treatment centre in his early 20s.
"It's a grieving process," he explains. "You do your little bit of bartering, you do your bit of denial. You're constantly angry, but, for me, it was internalised anger. I wasn't lashing out at others, but I was super mad at the world. The 'why me' was a constant question."
"I internalised all of that," he adds. "All of those different stages were with me, myself, and I. All the outside world got was, 'ah, sure, it is what it is'."
"The problem with that is, you're only lying to yourself - and the little lies build up. It was only when I was in a treatment centre that it was pointed out to me that I was using clothes to block my mouth. If I had a hoody on, I would have it tucked up over my mouth. I didn't realise it, but even in body language... you're just shutting yourself down."
Battling through his challenges, and connecting with the National Council for the Blind of Ireland (NCBI), the athlete eventually decided to reconnect with his love of sport.
In 2016, he represented Ireland at the Rio Paralympic Games, but says he was still in the early days of accepting his disability and felt uncomfortable labelling himself as a Paralympian.
"It wasn't just about sports, it was down to identity," he explains. "Everything about me, from the friends I had made from the age of seven to everything else, was down to sport. So, you're losing that."
"Obviously, I know about the Paralympics now, but back then I didn't even know they existed," he continues. "To be in the Paralympics, you had to appease the word 'disability'; I was wrestling with that one, probably more so than anything."
Through counselling, Peter began to accept his new reality, and decided he was ready for new experiences. By 2018, he had become the first Paralympian to complete the Race Around Ireland in just 122 hours.
"It was binary," he says of his thought process at the time. "You either deal with this or continue to live the life that you're living - and you're not exactly living."
Within an astoundingly short time-frame, Peter has gone from learning how to navigate his way around his local area, to dedicating himself to jaw-dropping feats.
"I had this huge list of things that I couldn't do," he says. "And then I started striking things off that list. There was just a bit of momentum and, I don't know, there was a buzz off it. I got to re-write the script a little."
70% of vision impairment is preventable & donating to Vision Van appeal will help us save the sight of those living in communities nationwide. The Vision Van will travel to 150 locations to inform communities about #sightloss and common eye conditions
— NCBI (@NCBI_sightloss) August 29, 2023
👉 https://t.co/LS8qnN5Rqb
Continuing to up the ante, the 33-year-old has decided to undertake an ultra-endurance running challenge of his own making this October. The challenge aims to raise proceeds for NCBI's Vision Van - a mobile service that will bring support directly to the heart of communities across Ireland for the first time.
"I have five to six reasons every day to not go training, and that's before we even get to the eyesight stuff," he laughs. "Everything is sore at the moment. I'm a 33-year-old who feels like a 53-year-old."
"But I've found a lot of independence through running," he continues. "I don't have the traditional guide where they have the tether, but I generally always have a buddy - and I mean that in every sense of the word."
"When I moved a to Dublin, a mate of mine would come running with me and go through all the routes with me. I'm constantly memorising routes, and memorising the ups and downs of footpaths. One of my biggest fears is, genuinely, around spring time when people start painting and cleaning gutters because the ladders will be up along the footpath."
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The run from Malin to Mizen will have Peter encountering unknown terrain, with the longest leg of the journey forcing him to complete the equivalent of three consecutive marathons in just one day.
With training hampered by the time restraints of working a full-time job, he says the motivation behind the marathon - more so than his physically fitness - is what will get him over the finish line.
"I am going to be nervous, I'm still flat out daunted by it," he admits. "The biggest run I've done so far is a 90k run - and I was broken for about three weeks after it."
"I think, anything after the 100k, belligerence is going to become key," he continues, laughing, "so I'm really delving into that strength of mine. When all is said and done, the hook is good and the why is good. I'm not trying to hail myself as this mega-athlete, I don't think I could do it for no reason."
Aside from raising money for NCBI, Peter hopes that his story can reassure anyone anyone struggling with a diagnosis that a happy and fulfilling life is possible.
As well as tackling physical feats such as the ultra-marathon, he says he is also proud to have come so far in his personal life. Today, he lives in Dublin with his fiancée, Gemma, and is working full-time at Campion Insurance - something he never could have imagined at 19.
"I don't want to be the lad who figured out one or two things and then pulled up the ladder on the families who are going through it now," he says. "I know, inherently, that all my family needed to hear ten years ago was, 'he'll be fine', from someone who had been there and done it."
Peter Ryan's run from Malin to Mizen will kick off on October 8 and end October 12 (World Sight Day). Click here for more info.
