It's that time of year when our senses get flooded with Christmas stimuli. Carols, scents and visual displays trigger festive awareness and past memories. Many people go 'on alert’ with Christmas anticipatory anxiety and stress.
Not only are minds affected, but physical health is too. Research has shown a higher incidence of hospital emergency admissions and heart attacks occur at Christmas time. For some, adrenaline and cortisol levels start to soar with planning, rushing and arranging.
As the holiday hype starts earlier each year, stress responses are prolonged. This ‘Christmas creep’ is propelled by marketing and consumerism, making it no longer just about one day. For families, Advent calendars, the arrival of Elves on Shelves, Christmas Eve rituals and making the magic happen add layers.
It is also a landmark for heartbreak, loss and estrangements. Workloads increase, deadlines loom, ‘to do’ lists overflow, and school schedules ramp up. Social media pictures of perfection, evoke expectations to create a memorable Christmas or induce FOMO or a sense of isolation.
Personal calendars get cluttered with parties, charity events, school concerts, carol services, meet-ups, reunions and more. Duties increase for carers, and opportunities to rest and recover become sparser.
Family dynamics can intensify as members gather under the same roof. Homes get invaded. Old embedded familial roles resurface as clashes from the past simmer tensely. Internal permission is often granted to overindulge in food and alcohol. Hangovers intrude on precious time. Mental health conditions can also be amplified this time of the year such as seasonal affective disorder, generalised anxiety disorder and social anxiety.
Women tend to shoulder the burden of making Christmas happen. In a study by the American Psychological Association, it was found that women experienced a higher spike in stress levels than men during the holiday season.
From juggling, cooking, cleaning, shopping to entertaining and decorating they tend to take on more Christmas related duties. Surveys have found that the majority of women write and send the Christmas cards, buy the presents, do the food shopping and cook the Christmas dinner.
Creating Christmas is still driven by societal expectations for women to uphold traditions. Many women tend to sacrifice their own needs to make others happy.
So while we may not avoid stress during the festive period, here are top 10 tips to buffer it:
1. Write it down
Write down all your Christmas stressors and all possible solutions that could ease each one. There are a multitude of studies that show positive benefits of writing on mental health. It provides emotional release and increases self-awareness. Journaling can also boost psychological well-being by putting shape on stressors, setting daily intentions and focusing on what well during the day. Festive self-care outlets can also be tracked.
2. Keep it simple
Order online and shop early in the morning or during quiet periods. As an alternative to presents, offer sharing experiences such as lunch or dinner in the New Year, a trip to the cinema, theatre or a show. This can also invigorate January, which can be difficult and long month for some. If you have the money, pay a cleaner. If not get a group of friends or family in to help do a cleaning blitz, rewarding them with food and drinks after.
3. Time management
Organisational and time management skills alleviate stress. Plan dates and allocate plenty of time for Christmas tasks such as posting abroad, writing cards, shopping, putting up decorations and grocery shopping.
4. Plan your finances
Set your budget and stick to it. Hunt for bargains with sales and Black Friday or buying two for one. Arrange Secret Santa among families and workplaces. If creative, bake goods, make wreaths or arrange framed photographs of special memories. Manage expectations of Santa.
Read more: Simple ideas for making gifts from scratch
5. Meditate
Guided meditation yields mental and physical rewards. A daily dose of 20 minutes is beneficial to lower stress, unravel thoughts and calm the body. Regular practice triggers the body’s relaxation response and enhances the bounce back effect form stressful situations.
Apart from formal sessions, practice mindfulness throughout the day with three simple steps:
- Pay attention to your breathing, mouth closed and engage the diaphragm. Lengthen the breath in and out. With every inbreath repeat the words ‘calm’ and with every outbreath repeat ‘slow down.’
- Loosen tension in your body with stretches, neck rolls, relax abdominal muscles and drop shoulders.
- Immerse in all your senses with what you can see, feel, touch, taste and smell.
6. Mind your thoughts
Thoughts are powerful so be mindful of your cognitions. Ask if they are healthy, helpful and accurate. Your thinking patterns can put you in bad form and add to stress. Try not to induce a mental drama.
7. Keep lifestyle factors in check
Regular movement, daylight, healthy eating and moderation all matter. Try to get to bed early, have a few power naps if needed, and enjoy interests and activities. Engage in de-stressing strategies that you enjoy such as reading a book, watching a movie, having a lavender bath, going for a swim or listening to an inspirational podcast. Don’t wait until the New Year to start healthy habits.
8. Be altruistic
Helping and giving contribute to psychological health. In studies, generosity has been found to produce physiological and psychological benefits. People involved in volunteering gain social and emotional rewards. Giving to others releases ‘feel good’ neurochemicals such as oxytocin and endorphins.
9. Create boundaries
Responding to family dynamics can be tricky as people fall into old roles and regress. Emotional regulation and holding healthy boundaries are helpful. Don’t speak or act from big feelings. Try not to get sucked in to others’ negative ways. Be aware of triggers, and what is and isn’t your issue. Step back. Keep a physical and emotional distance from those with whom you have difficulty. Bring fun and laughter to the table which are antedotes to stress
Read more: A psychologist's guide to setting healthy boundaries
10. Make a timetable
If hosting Christmas dinner, prepare a much as possible the day before and write your timetable for the cooking and set timers. Don’t feel under pressure to cook and present like a professional chef. Assign chores and food contributions to family and visitors: starters, desserts, drinks, setting the table, entertaining children while you prepare, walking the dog etc. While trying to produce a magical Christmas, expect that children will get overly excited, tired and cranky.
11. Take rest
Everyone needs quiet time and rest periods. On the run up to Christmas, focus on what the real meaning of it is for you, and how you’d like it to be. Children and people will remember the company, the atmosphere and the love felt.
To avoid Christmas burn-out, pace it, have realistic expectations, budget, take daily rest breaks, get outdoors and keep Christmas related thoughts healthy.
If overwhelmed with ongoing stress that is intruding on daily functioning, check in with your GP or a mental health professional. www.rte.ie/helplines
The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent or reflect the views of RTÉ.
